Helping others help you at work
Reaching out for help may feel uncomfortable, but when you are struggling at work, this may be necessary for your well-being.
The following are some ideas that may make it easier for others at work to help you.
- Making requests based on what you need rather than focusing on what you think others are doing wrong
For example, instead of saying to your manager: "You need to stop criticizing me all the time."
You might try: "I am in a place right now where I am having a really hard time dealing with criticism. I'm working on building my confidence. Would you be willing to give me specific direction on what you'd like me to do, rather than focusing on what I am doing wrong?"
- Helping people to understand your reaction
If you are finding yourself reacting to workplace situations with anger, frustration or by crying, you can help your co-workers by giving them information about your reaction.
For example, you might try telling them: " I know I may overreact in certain situations. I am working hard to increase control of my emotions. Please know that my reaction is not about you."
Another example: "When I am pressured to work faster and can't spend time on the quality of my work, I may become upset and start crying. I'm working hard to manage my reaction, but sometimes I won't be able to completely prevent it. Please ignore my tears."
- Asking for help with deadlines
Rather than waiting until the last minute and missing the deadline, let your manager know when you are struggling to get things done.
- Dealing with gossip
Sometimes the best way to deal with this is to counter with "positive gossip". This means talking about what people have done right or well.