Why this matters
Emotions are a part of our daily experience. On any given day, your emotions may shift countless times in response to the situations you find yourself in. You may feel happy when you feel the sun on your face as you walk to the office, and annoyed when you discover that someone forgot to restock the coffee filters. Some situations are more complicated and elicit a complex mix of feelings.
For example, you might have mixed emotions about getting a promotion—on the one hand, you feel proud of your achievements, but on the other you feel nervous about the job and disappointed about the lack of a big raise. Our emotional experiences also vary in intensity depending on the importance of an event. For example, while being denied a morning coffee might cause you to feel slightly frustrated, being verbally assaulted by a friend might cause you to feel rage.
Describing your emotional experiences can help you identify the sources of your feelings and determine how to make positive changes. Having a wide vocabulary of emotion words is a great start.
Knowing a range of words that express varying levels of a particular feeling can also be useful in separating serious problems from not-so-serious problems.
Because our thoughts impact the way we feel, the words we choose to label our experiences can impact the intensity of our feelings. For example, try saying to yourself, “I’m terrified about the meeting”. Now try, “I’m uneasy about the meeting”. Feel the difference? Having a large emotional vocabulary at your disposal helps prevent you from over-reacting to stressful events.
Explore and reflect
Feeling angry
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly angry, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Belligerent, Bitter, Enraged, Fuming, Furious, Incensed, Infuriated, Outraged, Provoked, Seething, Storming, Vengeful, Vindictive
Moderate
Aggravated, Annoyed, Antagonistic, Crabby, Cranky, Exasperated, Fuming, Grouchy, Hostile, Ill-tempered, Indignant, Irate, Offended, Resentful, Sore, Spiteful, Testy, Ticked off
Mild
Bugged, Irritated, Dismayed, Impatient, Irked, Petulant, Resentful, Sullen, Uptight
Feeling afraid
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly afraid, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Desperate, Distressed, Frightened, Horrified, Intimidated, Panicky, Paralyzed, Petrified, Shocked, Terrified, Terror-stricken
Moderate
Alarmed, Apprehensive, Awkward, Defensive, Fearful, Fidgety, Fretful, Jumpy, Nervous, Restless, Scared, Shaky, Skittish, Tense, Threatened, Troubled,
Mild
Antsy, Anxious, Careful, Cautious, Disquieted, Shy, Timid, Uneasy, Unsure, Watchful, Worried
Feeling sad
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly sad, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Alienated, Beaten down, Bleak, Dejected, Depressed, Desolate, Despondent, Dismal, Empty, Gloomy, Grieved, Grim, Hopeless, In despair, Woeful
Moderate
Awful, Blue, Crestfallen, Demoralized, Devalued, Discouraged, Dispirited, Distressed, Downcast, Downhearted, Fed up, Lost, Melancholy, Miserable, Regretful, Sorrowful, Tearful, Upset, Weepy
Mild
Blah, Disappointed, Down, Glum, In a funk, Low, Moody, Morose, Somber, Subdued, Uncomfortable, Unhappy
Learn about the responses to Loss and grief and ways you can cope after the death of a loved one or another significant loss.
Feeling confused
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly confused, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Baffled, Befuddled, Chaotic, Confounded, Flustered, Rattled, Reeling, Shocked, Shook up, Speechless, Startled, Stumped, Stunned, Taken-aback, Thrown
Moderate
Adrift, Ambivalent, Bewildered, Puzzled, Blurred, Disconcerted, Disordered, Disorganized, Disquieted, Disturbed, Dizzy, Foggy, Frozen, Frustrated, Mistaken, Misunderstood, Mixed up, Perplexed, Troubled
Mild
Distracted, Uncertain, Uncomfortable, Undecided, Unsettled, Unsure
Feeling hurt
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly hurt, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Abused, Aching, Anguished, Crushed, Damaged, Degraded, Destroyed, Devastated, Discarded, Disgraced, Forsaken, Humiliated, Mocked, Punished, Rejected, Ridiculed, Ruined, Scorned, Wounded
Moderate
Belittled, Cheapened, Criticized, Depreciated, Devalued, Discredited, Distressed, Impaired, Injured, Maligned, Marred, Miffed, Mistreated, Resentful, Troubled
Mild
Annoyed, Let down, Minimized, Neglected, Put down, Rueful, Tender, Unhappy, Used
Feeling lonely
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly lonely, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Abandoned, Cut off, Dejected, Deserted, Despondent, Empty, Forsaken, Oppressed, Ostracized, Outcast, Rejected, Shunned
Moderate
Alienated, Alone, Apart, Cheerless, Companionless, Estranged, Excluded, Isolated, Left out, Neglected, Uncherished
Mild
Detached, Discouraged, Distant, Melancholy, Separate, Withdrawn
Feeling guilty or ashamed
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly guilty or ashamed, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Degraded, Delinquent, Disgraced, Exposed, Humiliated, Mortified, Shamed, Wrong
Moderate
Apologetic, Contrite, Crestfallen, Culpable, Demeaned, Downhearted, Judged, Penitent, Regretful, Remorseful, Repentant, Shamefaced, Sorrowful
Mild
Bashful, Blushing, Chastened, Embarrassed, Flustered, Hesitant, Humble, Meek, Sheepish, Sorry
Feeling happy
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly happy, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Delighted, Ecstatic, Elated, Energetic, Enthusiastic, Euphoric, Excited, Exhilarated, Overjoyed, Thrilled, Vibrant
Moderate
Cheerful, Happy, In high spirits, Jovial, Light-hearted, Lively, Up
Mild
Contented, Cool calm and collected, Fine, Glad, Gratified, Pleasant, Pleased, Satisfied, Serene
Feeling grateful
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly grateful, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Adoring, Passionate, Committed, Devoted, Idolizing, Infatuated, Wild about
Moderate
Admiring, Affectionate, Attached, Fond of, Kind-hearted, Loving, Tender, Trusting, Warm-hearted
Mild
Appreciative, Attentive, Considerate, Friendly, Interested in, Respecting, Thoughtful, Tolerant
Take action
The next time you are feeling:
- Angry
- Afraid
- Sad
- Defeated
- Confused
- Hurt
- Lonely
- Guilty or ashamed
- Happy
- Grateful
Consider whether that feeling is intense, moderate or mild. Choose a different word that more accurately describes how you're feeling.
You can also use this approach when you're thinking about how someone else is reacting.
Additional resources
Emotional intelligence for employees. Free activities to increase your ability to manage your reactions and control how you impact others. Building your emotional intelligence can help reduce stress.
Worry myths. It’s rarely, if ever, helpful to worry. Learn fact from fiction when it comes to worry.
References
1. Drummond, T. (2021). Vocabulary of emotions [PDF].