Time required
20 minutes
Preparation
Have the following phrases on a screen or flipchart:
- David, don’t you understand?
- What do you need from me?
- I never said you did that.
Suggested wording
Communication is much more than just the words we say. The intensity with which we deliver our messages impacts how others interpret them. Intensity shows up in the:
- Volume of our voice
- Muscle tension in our face and body
- Pace of our words
- Words we choose to emphasize
Careless communication is saying whatever’s on our mind without thinking about how others might receive it. When we communicate clearly, we consider both our verbal and our non-verbal messaging. We can avoid the damage done by careless communication when we consistently monitor how intensely we communicate.
I am going to ask for a volunteer for the first activity. Is there someone who is comfortable reading?
[Select a volunteer to read.]
The first example of how our intensity can impact the way our message is interpreted is volume.
I am going to ask our volunteer to read one of the phrases displayed out loud 3 times. The first-time reading with a whisper, the second time with their regular voice and lastly with a loud voice.
First read the phrase out loud in a whisper.
[After they’ve done this.]
Now I want you to say the same sentence in your regular voice.
[After they’ve done this.]
Finally, I want you to say it in a loud voice.
[After they’ve done this.]
How might the different volumes impact the way the same message is interpreted?
[Allow for answers and then move on.]
When we speak very loudly, others may think we’re angry or excited. When we lower our voice, others may think we’re being threatening or timid depending on the tone.
The next example of how our intensity can impact the way our message is interpreted is the muscle tension in our face and body.
I am going to ask for another volunteer to read one of the phrases displayed 3 times.
[Select a volunteer.]
First, read the phrase out loud while you relax the muscles of your face.
[After they’ve done this.]
Now I want you to say the same sentence with a clenched jaw.
[After they’ve done this.]
Finally, I want you to say it while tensing all the muscles of your body and leaning forward.
[After they’ve done this.]
How does muscle tension impact the way the same message is interpreted?
[Allow for answers and then move on.]
When we’re physically tense, others may think we’re stressed or excited. When we lean in close, they may think we’re being aggressive.
The next example of how our intensity can impact the way our message is interpreted is the pace of our words.
Could I get another volunteer to read for the next example?
[Select a volunteer.]
This time, first read the phrases out loud very slowly, the second time at a regular rate and lastly read the phrases out loud quickly.
First read the phrase out very slowly.
[After they’ve done this.]
Now I want you to say the same sentence at a regular pace.
[After they’ve done this.]
Finally, I want you to say it very quickly.
[After they’ve done this.]
How does the rate of our words impact the way the same message is interpreted?
[Allow for answers and then move on.]
When we speak quickly, others may think we’re being domineering or not open to discussion. When we respond quickly, we could be interrupting. When we speak very slowly, they may think we’re being condescending or threatening depending on your tone.
The fourth example of how our intensity can impact the way our message is interpreted is which words we choose to emphasize.
Changing the emphasis of a single word in a sentence can completely change how people interpret what you mean.
For instance, in the phrase “I don’t know”
[Please place emphasis on the word that is bold in each case.]
“I don’t know” without any particular emphasis probably– implies that you don’t know.
“I don’t know” with emphasis on the “I” – might imply that you don’t feel you’re responsible.
“I don’t know” with emphasis on “don’t” – might imply frustration. You don’t want to be asked the question or you feel they should already know the answer.
“I don’t know” with emphasis on “know” might– imply that you haven’t made up your mind.
“I don’t know” with emphasis on all words will probably imply anger or annoyance.
Now you can try with the other phrases we’ve been using. Try to say each phrase multiple times where you are changing which word is emphasized. Notice how the phrase may be interpreted differently.
[Allow some time for participants to do the activity. And then wrap up]
While the words we choose and our body language matter, so too does the intensity with which we deliver the message.
The next time you’re going into a discussion in which your emotions could become intense, consider how you’ll manage the:
- Volume of your voice
- Muscle tension in your face and body
- Pace of your words
- Words you choose to emphasize
Find more activities like this at Team building activities.