Team activity – Express anger constructively

Time required

Approximately 15 minutes, depending on group size.

Preparation

In advance of the meeting, send each participant the Express anger constructively worksheet | PDF on the following page.

Have these 3 questions available on a screen or flip chart. 

Expressing anger constructively – ask yourself: 

1. What do I believe is unfair or unjust?
2. What assumptions am I making?
3. How can I express my fears or concerns without accusing or making judgments about others

Suggested wording 

It’s inevitable that sometimes you’ll feel anger. What’s not inevitable is how you manage and express your anger.

It’s not reasonable to ask anyone, including yourself, to not have certain emotional reactions. To ignore anger is to ignore its basic function of sending you a message about something you feel is unfair or unjust.

It’s not about never feeling angry, but instead learning ways to express your anger constructively to minimize the negative impacts angry behaviour can have on you or others.

It’s important to consider how you can express your anger constructively.

We’ll now read through your handout, the five steps to expressing your anger constructively. I invite you to express any concerns or questions about each of the steps as we go through them.

1. Before saying or doing anything, take a moment to contemplate whether you are justifiably angry, or whether your angry reaction resulted from an impulse due to a misperception or an unrelated personal trigger. Ask yourself what do I believe is unfair or unjust about this situation? The more specific you can be about the facts, the more objective you can be about how you’d like to resolve or address the situation. 
2. Remain respectful at all times. (Do not make judgments or accusations. Avoid raising your voice, name-calling or swearing.) 
3. Ensure that the anger stays proportionate to the situation (don’t overreact). Ask yourself, what assumptions am I making about this situation? These are judgments about people’s motives, thoughts or intentions that you couldn’t possibly prove. 
4. Avoid personalizing the situation (e.g., say “the fact that your project is late is causing real difficulties for the team” rather than “I’m so tired of you not caring about deadlines”). 
5. Remember that the goal of expressing anger constructively is to address its cause and work toward problem- solving, not to punish those involved in causing it. Ask yourself how can I express my fears or concerns without accusing or making judgments about others? Ensure that you take responsibility for your emotions and assumptions. For example, say “I’m frustrated about having to wait here because I’m anxious about the amount of work I have left,” rather than, “I can’t believe how rude you were to make me wait.” 

Remember, the goal of expressing anger constructively is to identify its cause, take ownership of your own emotions and objectively work towards addressing it. The goal isn’t to punish others or make them suffer. 

[Display the 3 questions you prepared on a screen or flipchart.] 

Record the 3 questions above someplace you can access easily the next time you’re angry. Before you express your anger, ask yourself the questions. Even if your response isn’t perfect, you’ll be expressing your anger more constructively. 

Find more activities like this at Team building activities.